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Rosie's Boomer Review

August 29th, 2008 at 2:27 am

Aging Parents? Baby Boomer? Can You Relate?

Many Baby Boomers are faced with caring for aging parents. If you have something you want to share I invite you to be a guest author or blogger on this site. Today let’s hear the┬áinsights of James Armstrong.

Also, you can hear the interview I did with him a while back.

In Your Next Chapter, Caring for an Aging Parent by James O. Armstrong

As you begin to transition into the next chapter of your life, other considerations will begin to emerge on your horizon. Among those factors entering into your new equation may be the consideration of caring for an aging parent or parents.

Q: “I can’t get more job training because I’m taking care of an aging parent. What would you say to me?”

A: There are alternatives or options which you need to consider, including elder care options from agencies that visit men and women’s homes on a regular basis. So, perhaps the answer is bringing someone in on those days of the week when you are working or gaining additional training.

Q: “I take my mother to many doctors appointments. Does this limit me in the kinds of jobs I can accept, because I have to take so much time off work?”

A: There are agencies dealing with aging in each county. Some of these are voluntary organizations, such as churches uniting together to take seniors to doctors’ offices and dentists’ offices plus tests at hospitals. There are simply men and women in the community who have already retired, and they’re willing to perform these functions.

Q: “Where can I learn more about these services?”

A: You can check with your own county departments on aging or voluntary organizations in your county that deal with the subject of aging.

Q: “I never know when a family member is going to need me, and then I have to drop everything. So I can’t work, and we’re running out of money.”

A: Most companies and schools would take that into consideration from an attendance standpoint. This is an item that can be negotiated.

Q: “I have to give the highest priority to helping my aging parent. Don’t you think so?”

A: Your aging parent understands the necessity of you working, if you absolutely have to have money from a cashflow standpoint. Everything in life is a question of establishing correct priorities. If you need income every month to pay your bills, then that is your first priority. This doesn’t mean that you’re not involved in the resolution of your aging parent’s problem.

Q: “My mother is very high maintenance.”

A: There are also nursing home options and assisted living options that need to be evaluated going forward. Perhaps, one of these options involves your mother selling her current home or condominium, as she evaluates these senior living options.

Q: “I know that other cities have more job opportunities for me. But my parents wouldn’t even consider moving and I take care of them.”

A: All of these concerns have to be taken into consideration. So, if working is the first necessity that you have, then you have to pursue these job opportunities where you’re concerned and, then, deal with your aging parent issues as a separate line item. In other words, you need to de-couple those items.

Q: “My father is frail, and he simply could not move with us.”

A: Then your father needs to consider senior living options that would be appropriate for him, based upon his age and physical or mental limitations.

Q: “All of my family and friends are in this town. We just can’t move.”

A: Because your family and friends are here doesn’t mean you can’t move. That’s a choice on your part.

Q: “I’m too old to move. I’m set in my ways.”

A: I’m reminded of the phrase from the Lord’s Prayer, “Give us this day our daily bread.” I don’t think that it has to do with where you currently live but where you can earn your income. And I believe that flexibility is part of the answer in this process. The more flexible we’re willing to be, the more easily our needs can be met in this area in terms of providing the income we need for our basic necessities.

James O. Armstrong, President of NowWhatJobs.net, Inc., http://www.nowwhatjobs.net, also serves as the Editor of NowWhatJobs.net. NowWhatJobs.net is the resource for job and career transitions for workers 40 years old and over, Baby Boomers and Active Seniors. Read NowWhatJobs.net for skills training, relocation options, job opportunities and much more. In addition, James is the author of “Now What? Discovering Your New Life and Career After 50.”

Article Source: Articles for Boomers

8
  • 1

    Definitely a great article and food for thought. It just proves that many of us get stuck on the first line and have difficulty looking at other options in our lives..It starts out no I cannot…That has to change in order to get your life out of stuck position. Talk with afriend, write down the good and bad, check into all options…carol stanley author of For Kids 59.99 and Over

    carol stanley on August 29th, 2008
  • 2

    You have shared some good insights. I guess we need to know how to GET UNSTUCK

    Rosie on August 29th, 2008
  • 3

    I have been going through all of this with my mother over the last year. I have put a lot of information on my blog, Davy’s Locker, but one of the most wonderful options out there that I was not aware of is adult day care. There are these types of places out there for anyone caring for their aging parent at home, where they can be picked up in the morning and take place in wonderful programs all day and then brought home in the afternoon. IT’s a great option for those who want to try to keep their parent out of a nursing home. In fact, once in the program, even if they need to go to a retirement home, the day care center will continue to bring them there for the day. If under a certain income, around 18,000 per year, medicaid can pay for the whole thing! Check out my blog for more info or google for adult day care in your area.

    David Lindberg on August 29th, 2008
  • 4

    I thought my website URL would be included in the comment, so here it is
    http://www.davidwlindberg.com

    David Lindberg on August 29th, 2008
  • 5

    Currently, my 88 year old mother-in-law, who lives in the same home with my family and I, is being evaluated at a hospital close to our home for one more day. Plus, her dog, who has diabetes and eye problems, spent part of today at the Vet’s office in Woodstock, IL.

    My wife and I plus our ever faithful administrative assistant, Linda Wright, who works for both us in our various endavors on a less than full-time basis, also pitches in to help us with my mother-in-law and her dog, too.

    Life does get complicated. For my wife, who is a full-time pastor with an earned doctorate, she would say that “it is all about relationships.” And, I am sure she’s right.

    For me, it’s also about balancing a job or career in the process, too. In the future, a growing number of companies will offer all sorts of assitance dealing with eldercare issues, including eldercare on the premises of mid-size and large corporations and at larger government installations.

    This option will increasingly become a part of an overall corporate benefit plan and will become more and more important, as our population continues to age.

    Jim Armstrong on August 29th, 2008
  • 6

    Day Care is great, however, just like Day Care for children you want to visit, get to know the transportation folks and nursing support. They need to know that you are not just dropping off and out of sight.
    I think they should have sessions for care givers also just like parent meetings Ha just one great cycle of love
    Thanks

    Rosie on August 29th, 2008
  • 7

    This is a great article, Rosie! As a daughter who had to make some real tough decisions about my mother, I can relate. It is so, so true, that we often close the door to the many possibilities and choices we have in life, because we often say “I can’t.”

    When you say you can, you open yourself to other possibilities, new opportunities, people and creative ways to find solutions to problems. When you say you can’t, the doors close because you’ve locked them behind you.

    It’s really our choice.

    Barbara on September 8th, 2008
  • 8

    I think many of us are relating to this. Just hope we are preparing our children and helping them to CARE and work with their siblings to coordinate care.
    Guess it is good to teach teamwork outside of the sports arena.

    Rosie on September 10th, 2008
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